Clarity

“Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different..”

I guess people relate to sadness. 
People love to know that other people are hurting. 
Knowing that someone else out there understands what you're going through, that what you feel isn't different and that others just like you, are struggling just as much as you are.
I guess sadness is reality and reality is truth.
When you're happy or successful, people envy you. People see the lies behind it all and eventually you lose a crowd of people who followed you because you were unique.

Nobody wants to hear about how great your life is, how happy you are or how you are better than you were before.
Everyone wants compassion and relativity. Everyone wants to know someone in pain.


I couldn't define a time when things changed.
Maybe it was when I started loving again.
Maybe it was when i started to accept the flaws of me and started to nourish and embrace them rather than hate them.

Things got a little bit brighter and the nights of long hours and stale thoughts disappeared.
I lost thought about drugs, suicide and darker things.

I was happy, and my writing reflected that.

My happiness was something that nobody wanted to hear about.
Nobody cared.

People flocked to read about pain, torture, anguish and despair. 
I had people thanked me for being so confronting and upfront with how i lived my life.

So I owe them.

Happiness is great.
Feeling healthy, loving fully and feeling complacent in a world of chaos seems normal.

For once, in a very long time, I feel like I am going somewhere.
There is this brightness in the day that doesn't cast a shadow and the air although cold, is no longer bitter.

It's hard to think that people have stopped reading or stopped caring because they feel I have abandoned a style of writing or truth.

It is also tough, to think that maybe everything you have built, no longer exists because you have a little bit of light in your life.

But i think now s the perfect time to admit that, although things have been blossoming, I am still me. 

There are times where i reflect on who I used to be, what I have been through and who I am today.
I think about luck, fate, destiny and everything that has impacted or may impact my entire being.

Life is curious and impossible to understand, and adjusting to a society and lifestyle where one thing is new on monday and old on sunday, is undeinably the hardest thing to conquor.

Trying to understand love, limits, succes, wealth and everything that flits in and out of your life, will always have you questioning yourself and your thoughts.

What I feel today, I may not necessarily understand tomorrow, and this is what i am trying to get at.

I was somebody who was struggling. I didn't understand what made me, built me or what I wanted from my existence 12 months ago.
I was miserable let down by a lot of people, I had strayed off a path that i needed to get back on and I was living a life that, although was entertaining and provided great content for a blog, was dark all the time. 

I didn't have the pleasure of shutting it off once my computer was down, the feelings I wrote down didn't dissolve when closed my browser.

I hurt all the time, I suffered all the time, what i wrote was damaging for me everyday.

Which is kind of why Unorthodox Youth was born. 
I wanted a new beginning. 
I wanted to believe and aim to achieve a lifestyle that was better than what I had.
I didn't want my only foundation to write, based on heart break, suicide, eating disorders, or other brutal and dispairing thoughts.

No I wanted a life that my future husband and children would admire, I wanted my family to know that I am now living a full and happy life. That yes, although there are times of darkness, I can find the light.

I have found and accomplished a lifestyle where happiness is achievable. 
My lifestyle may not be poetic, but it's something that I have worked hard for. 

Unorthodox Youth represents all that I have been through and created and is the backbone t everything I am today.

It represents all the failures, sweat, tears and late nights. 


It represents the growth of me, of all of us eventually.
I hope you understand now...

Cheers UY x

5 things girls love to do when they are alone

“I’ve always loved the idea of not being what people expect me to be”— Dita Von Teese

A females prized possessions are her secrets.

No, I'm not talking about the pretty little white lies, nor the scandalous tales of her weekend.

A girls most confidential and intimate secrets are those that you wouldn't even think of.

Behind closed doors, (mainly the bathroom or bedroom), is where you will find the truth hidden in every girl.

No.5 Hygiene

From popping pimples', to dousing their hair in product, every girl has their secrets about what they fantasise about doing in the bathroom. 

Finally finding the time to shave all the way up to your thighs, pluck a few stray brows or just try out a new 'smokey eye' is a the epitome of down time.

A confident and proud woman is built in front of the mirror. Although this might sound artificial, each woman finds their own beauty by facing their flaws, looking them dead in the eye and owning them!

If she doesn't partake in one of the above luxurious activities, I can almost guarantee that a nice, warm, bubbly bath and a new candle burning can be idolised as the ultimate relaxer for women. 

No.4 Interior Design

After tearing out all your favourite posters from magazines when you were 15, interior design isn't something that is always considered as 'hard work'.

Women take pride in their bedroom and in their home and if this means everything has to match, then so it has to match.

It isn't a fantasy that will be dreamt of everyday. It's more of a 'spring clean' thing, but it will come around like a full moon and stir up some crazy for a few days.

One minute her room/house will be boho chic and the next it will be futuristic trendy. Fashion changes every season, so why should interior design be any different, am i right?

Just beware, if you walk in on her moving things around and you even just dare to ask what she is planning to do with it, you will get a nasty snarl and maybe even a bit of a bite. 

She doesn't know where she is putting it, why she feels like moving it or why she even bought it, let alone thinking about why you are questioning her about it.

Give the girl her space! Remember: it's meant to be alone time.

No.3 Create, Make and Bake

It's not often that a girl gets to splurge on a few quiet hours to try something new.

It could be a new diet trend, makeup technique or a candle making kit. If it has just dominated social media and everyone is talking about it, she will do it and she will succeed.

It's hard to be great at everything, but girls can't go about living their life without knowing what it's like to have at least given things a go. 

Being creative is a great when indulging in quiet time, because although it seems like a lot of effort to others, the mind is able to wander and access thoughts of productivity and accomplishment.

Nothing is more rewarding than trying something, succeeding or failing, and knowing that you gave it your all!

So if it's baking a new flourless cake, creating a photo wall or making a new song on that rusty old guitar- being creative and keeping active is a little mouthwatering to girls who want to have a little TLC.

No.2 EAT

The good old 'seefood' diet.

Girls see food, they eat it and they love every minute of it.

This might surprise some, but girls don't just eat salads (rabbit food). The majority of us conquer the supersized double quarter pounder meal off for an entree. 

We are only being polite when we eat outdoors because, spoiler* we don't actually like sharing our food. We are hungry, and trust me, you don't want to come between a girl and her food. 

*Insert Growling here*

In our alone time, we are able to scoff down as many chocolate bars, burgers, chips- anything and everything that is deliciously edible. 

Just because we seem sweet and innocent, doesn't mean our appetite is. 
Hint: don't ever question us about how that wrapper got under our pillow, otherwise you will unleash the beast.

Emphasis on beast. 

No.1 Sleep

Simple. 

They don't just call it 'beauty sleep' for nothing. 

7 hours a night isn't enough. 
A nap is almost always necessary. Sometimes we don't always get the chance to do so, but when we do, we are a class act of hibernation. 

Yes, it's oh so nice to have someone to cuddle at night and it can be great to stay up talking to friends on the phone or be out socialising and doing 'human' things. 
But the times when we are really alone and indulging in our quiet time, are the times that we have starfished our bed and are drooling on our pillows.

If it were a profession to 'study the back of your eyelids', women would master in it. 

Nuf' said. 

The Good, the Bad and the realisation that it will eventually drive you Mad.

“People don’t notice whether it’s winter or summer when they’re happy”— Anton Chekhov



I think it is one of life's greatest gifts. To love, be loved and know of love.

There is no right or wrong, too much or too little, but in a world so complicated, love is still the only thing more complex than evolution in itself.

There is no predicting when, how, why or what exactly contributes to love. We can't know nor can we prove that we each independently feel love the same as another.

We are all indefinitely aware of love, but whether we choose to feel it or not, it surrounds us every day.




The Good

Maybe it was him, your first crush and the way he bit the end of his pencil at the back of the room in class that made your heart skip.

Or her, the girl that picked up your bus pass you dropped, as you ran onto the bus.

It could have been the day you looked in the back row of the hall, to see if your parents had made it to your graduation, but you couldn't find their faces and then you saw them standing in the middle corridor, both gawking and waving with a huge ass video camera.

Or maybe it was the day that you slipped your figures through the water, pushing yourself onto your first way, conquering the world beneath you and defying any hesitation you once had about a challenge or new beginnings.



Life gives you good moments, no, great moments. In these moments, love is existing, but it is only in the eye of the beholder to define what it was that made you feel.

Love isn't just about relationships with other people, sex or finding compatibility.

It is finding an understanding in yourself, defying all odds of fear, defeat and reluctance about anything in your life.



The Good is about defining parts of you that warm to new experiences, places, people, beliefs and accomplishments. Love is enjoying all aspects of this world, untied from just human beings but buried within the ground around you.




The Bad
The "not - so friendly".

The nights of mistakes, lies, and unfortunate endings.

This love is sometimes, could be and always most certainly, found in another person.

We are our own worst enemy, and sometimes the bad is found in ourselves.

There is a flaw, a difficulty, barrier or problem that we have discovered in ourselves.

But it is only up to us, to find this, challenge this and change it into something that becomes the definition of love.

Sometimes the bad is cliche and is brought to you on a silver platter served by your ex. That love, dare I promise you, will make you become stronger. 

He or she, who once broke your heart will be the creator of your success, happiness and strength. Trust me on this one, you will oddly enough, thank them one day.




A love that was borrowed, was never yours to begin with. 

Someone that you 'borrow' love from, is someone that never gave you their heart, but selfishly took yours without hesitation.

We have all been there. We have all carried on. Love has no boundaries, and without any false implications, I imply that love can be and will be found in someone else.

Someone worthy of everything you are that makes you, you. 

It is what makes love beautiful, desirable and the master of all unique connections among others.

The Bad will sometimes creep up on you in forms of disappointment, regret, temptation and grief. We learn from our mistakes, we learn from the curve balls life throws at us and we learn to adjust and adapt to the inevitable path of fate. We only survive in this world because we are all born naive and ill-informed of the world evolving around us, and this provides us with the opportunity to grow.

That's nature, no one can prevent you from falling down 7 times, but it's you and only you, that can make you stand up 8.



The Mad

The unexplained.

It's the fuzzy feeling, stomach churning, sweaty and tense feeling that spreads through your body.

This Mad feeling, is tailored differently to each individual person.

Not one feeling, is the same as the other.

How do we know that we see blue, the same as the next?

How will we ever truly see ourselves without the use of a mirror or reflection.



How can we possibly even begin trying to understand, what it is one feels when they say the have learned of love.

The Mad is your own definition and understanding. 

It could make you feel alive, tired, stressed, ecstatic or calm. Words may not even be worthy for such, but we shall endeavour to never find out.

What we can know, is that love will drive you mad.

It is scientifically proven, that being unaware or not possessing the knowledge of the 'unknown', will be cause discomfort in one self.

Not knowing or having a clear justification what love is, what factors contribute to love, or how to achieve or find it, will drive people bonkers.



It confuses the world, the people in it and the social norms developed. However, if we were to know and have love defined and clarified for us... we would all conform to whatever it was, deemed fit.

Love wouldn't be mysterious nor would it hold the power of limitless opportunities, emotions or definitions. It would tire, become boring and once again, turn our world into black and white.




Love questions and ciphers happy from sad, it keeps us breathing and waking up every day with a new hope and aspiration for tomorrow.

Love, although Good, Bad and undeniably Mad, adds colour to our lives and we become artists in our own world. We may not all be Van Goh, but we can sure as hell try.


There is so much more to life than just simply surviving it.

An open letter to Scots College

To whom it may concern, please take into account the following... 

Due to traditional values and government funding, the peasant educational values and school that I attended only provided me with a mediocre entry to university.

As the peasant student I was, I spent 12 months doing a university degree, paying $9500 in tuition (HECS ill pay you later) that I didn't even want to do, just so I could finally start doing what I actually want to do today.

 I am only just starting a degree that I could have started 3 years ago, had I invested in a course (such as yours) that guaranteed my access into a degree in a top university.

But I didn't get given that opportunity and I want to know why?

Is it because I'm a girl?

Is it because I'm not wealthy?

Is it because I'm not exceptionally good looking?

Unfortunately god only gave me brains, and I lucked out on the doses of model, child prodigy and rich kid which apparently got sprinkled around on my generation.

But, had I made my parents put a second mortgage on our house maybe, just maybe I would have been able to afford entry into a course (such as yours) to bypass the stress and anxiety the HSC gave me.

Life isn't easy- but, unfortunately, this 17 week course won't teach that. 

God forbid your students should actually learn anything! I wouldn't want them to sweat before an exam or have to stay at home on the weekend instead of boozing it up at high school dances to actually study.

No, I would hate for them to think that work actually meant something and money has to actually be earnt, (for those who weren't born into it).

Students who partake in the pilot will gain nothing, except know the knowledge that money is everything and if there is a way around a difficult task, you can pay your way out of it.

You are cheating a system that has been implemented to determine students who rightfully earn a position in university. Merit and value will no longer be associated with universities  if payment becomes accepted for entrance. 

Hense forth, ruining all credentials of current universities and the students currently attending them.

Students who have studied diligently and obsessivley to achieve high marks and credits to enter in a course that they have strived to achieve, will no longer be recognised as worthy.
Degrees will no longer be earnt, but will be bought instead.

How tacky.

Our world is already full of items, programs and people who can be bought.
University is the only thing that really prevents those who are wealthier than others from getting everything they essentially want.

University is the holy grail for those who cannot afford private education or extensive tutorials. To be come a student at university, you have to earn it.
Scholarships are offered to those that work hard for it and university has become a place where people from all walks of life come together, to learn and enjoy an education that they have rightfully achieved on their own. 

Your program will intervene with this separation from money and power and will just be another thing that can be 'bought' over time. 

Shows that intelligence really isn't anything and those that have enough money, really can do anything. 

I feel for you I do, I can't imagine how hard it must be, competing against the other private schools in Sydney, let alone NSW or Australia. 

But have some dignity....

I like that my university is diverse and people are there because they actually want to be there, not just because their parents paid them to be.

Yours Kindly,

UY