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Thursday, 11 June 2015


“It’s okay to get lost every once in a while, sometimes getting lost is how we find ourselves.”

Understanding where you need to be in your life is never concrete. 
Anticipating love, expecting greatness and demanding success  can destroy you, when it isn't delivered.

I think it is important for people to understand that throughout this journey, my journey, there are times where I still do not understand.

Ever since I have started writing for the public, an insight into my life has always been available to anyone who chooses to enter it. 

So when i bared all, through my difficulties and darkness, people related. People loved that they weren't alone and that there was someone out there, that was having an even worse day than they were.

But my life took a turn for the better and from what I understand of it now, is people don't like better. 

No one likes reading about happiness or success. People don't want to hear of someone enjoying their lives more than they are. People want to feel, people want to read about emotions and read about things that finally make them feel.

I guess i failed to recognise the impact that my sadness had on those who were reading about my life. Through all the late nights and empty days, although I felt alone and wrote about my depression, people were listening.

People were there supporting me in their silence, but I failed to understand that little by little I was making a difference.

It's sad, how happiness makes people bitter and judgemental. Success makes people envious and love makes people distant.

All the integral things in our lives that we aim to achieve, actually bring the opposite of what we want. 

Why is it now that I am happy, or now that I am on a road where I am finally running, that people no longer want to be apart of my journey.

Is it because I achieved what I was aiming for? Is it because I sound just like everyone else
or is it because you know longer feel like you can relate to me?

I have been deliberating the effects of my blog for a while. Confused about what it is I
should write, what I should say to gain the respect of those who used to follow me. 

And although I want to relate to you again and write about sadness, lost love and bitter nights....I just can't.

There was a time in my life where I was lost. 
There is a time in everyones life where you become lost and it isn't necessarily a bad thing. 

To be lost, you lose who you are and we spend the rest of our lives in search of who we once were. 

I apologise for not writing about my darkness anymore, but I cannot apologise for finding myself again.

I cannot apologise for being happy and I cannot be sorry for finding what it was I had lost a long time ago. 

And even if I never write in sorrow, I promise you this.

That you too, will find your way again. 

It takes time and patience, empathy and strength.
But one day, you will realise that losing yourself was probably the greatest thing that ever happened to you, as it made you realise who you really were to begin with.

And if I can let you in on a little secret of mine?

You are never really lost, you are just waiting to be found 


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