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Wednesday, 11 March 2015

How To: Keep Her Happy




1. Always listen (nodding your head and changing your facial expressions gives the ultimate impression that what she is saying is important to you).

2. What she says in the last few words of her sentence is critical (she will ask you to repeat them to check that you were actually listening).

3. If you don't hear the question, always say yes (at some point you are going to get it right).

4. Like a baby with keys, always let her play with your phone (she will read your messages regardless, so your confidence in letting her do so will make her feel more at ease in the relationship).

5. Never fart in front of her, this opens up a two way reciprocal relationship which means (she will fart in front of you too).

6. It is always your fault. *no elaboration needed*

7. Argue with her, when girls are angry they want to fight but they don't want an easy win. If you admit that you are wrong straight away, its like a fart that you hold in. It builds up and one day she will slowly implode. Let her fight and yell her reasons, she wants to win the fight amorously- give her that glory (or she will make you pay for it eventually).

8. When she asks for your honest opinion in an outfit, your response will always be positive. Never say that you don't think it matches or it doesn't cling in the right areas. She looks great from when she wakes up to when she falls asleep (otherwise you will be 3 hours late, rather than the usual 1 hour). 

9. When she complains, always comfort her. If she is sick, be with her. If she crys, do not automatically assume it is the time of the month. If you want her happy, accept her at her worst and you will receive her best. (remember assume makes an ass out of u and me).

10. If you want to keep her happy, you will not need the above tips (although they are helpful). You should want to make her happy because you genuinely care for her, as she does you. 

All the best, 
Unorthodox Youth Male Contributor
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